question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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