I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
