My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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