So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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