I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
