I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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