I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
