I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
don't judge my taste in strippers
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
