YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
