White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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