absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm too high and old for this...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
