Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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