its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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