it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
