There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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