How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
