i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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