get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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