Buhtt sex?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
