wat bout pragnant strippers??
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
