Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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