What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
