I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize