You're a womanizer and a bitch.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
