His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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