he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His nipple licking is glorious
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