Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
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Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize