she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize