do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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