I got chris browned last night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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