I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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