Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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