I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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