I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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