So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize