is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
