addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
