i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
