take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
