what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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