You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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