Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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