i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
