i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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