my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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