If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
