u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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