Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
