I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
