don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Who died my cat blue again?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
