You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
