Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
