What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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