Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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