Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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