forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
