I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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