I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
