What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
