Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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